Where in Belgium I felt like I couldn’t escape the ratrace of society, In Finland I found a new inner peace. There is so much more space here which gives me the feeling I finally have the room to develop myself and to become the person I want to be. But when school started, the lack of academic validation introduced me to this phenomenon that we know as culture shock.  

As a child I learned that I could make my family proud by working hard and getting good grades in school. So, I did. Years went by and this urge to work hard and to make my family proud did not go away. More so, I developed a need to prove myself and to go seek and push my own limits. This resulted in good grades in college and being surrounded by proud family members and teachers. I like the feeling of getting better at something. It makes me feel like I belong and that I am not wasting my time. That is something important for me, not wasting my time. We all have a limited time on this earth and in this life and I want to make the best of it. I want to make an impact on the world and the people around me, or at least feel like I’m making an impact. And the fact that I’m lacking the feeling of ‘being of value’ and ‘making an impact’ here in Finland, makes my time here a little bit harder.  

Looking at the education system at SeAMK, I got the feeling that the Finns aren’t as focused on education as I thought. Which was weird because I know a lot of teachers from Central Europe travel to the Nordic countries to see how good they are doing and to learn from the Nordic school system.  

Given my ambitious character I can’t deny that I am a little bit disappointed in my Erasmus experience. I traveled across Europe to gain more knowledge and to be a greater asset to a future employer. But in fact, I ended up in an easy-going atmosphere where deadlines aren’t really a thing, and the focus is not on achieving goals but on the wellbeing of the students. Which isn’t a bad thing, don’t get me wrong. But well-being should not limit the knowledge and work ethic of a student.  

I started talking to my friends back home, who were drowning in deadlines and tasks. We envied each other; they were in need of a break, and I would have done everything to take their place and to nail this bachelor thesis which I don’t have to do because I chose to go on Erasmus. And when I started talking to the other exchange students, we realized that we were all feeling the same way. We all expected a higher level of education and were in fact a little confused about the whole education system. Knowing I wasn’t the only one experiencing this helped me a lot with turning my culture shock around.   

Now, more than one month into this adventure, I can say I’m over my culture shock. I decided to embrace the change and take advantage of the extra free time that I have been granted in this beautiful country to develop myself as a person. I traveled to Finland, Norway, Estonia and Latvia. I learned to focus on myself instead of focusing on my academic achievements. And most importantly, I’m returning back home as a different version of myself.  

I came to the conclusion that my Finnish dream was flawed to begin with. Maybe Belgium isn’t all that bad in the end and maybe Finland isn’t all that great to begin with.  
Maybe I should stop running away from myself and hide in the safety of books and academic validation. Maybe I should learn to jump and trust the timing of things. And if I jump and I fall? 

I’ll fall seven times and stand up eight.